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Author Topic: The Steam Awards  (Read 16269 times)

Offline Bastard

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The Steam Awards
« on: 23.11.2016 22:05:31 »
Post what games you nominated and complain about other people's bad tastes! (holy shit could this be the first topic i've ever made that is not silly and useless?)

The “Test of Time” Award: Terraria
The “I'm Not Crying, There's Something In My Eye” Award: To the Moon
The “Just 5 More Minutes” Award: Rocket League
The “Whoooaaaaaaa, dude!” Award: Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair
The “Villain Most In Need Of A Hug” Award: Undertale
The “Game Within A Game” Award: Day of the Tentacle Remastered (This is the sequel to Maniac Mansion and it has the entirety of the first game on an arcade machine within this game.)
The “I Thought This Game Was Cool Before It Won An Award” Award: Papers, Please (Furi also would have been a possibility because nobody in my friends list has that fuckin game)
The “Best Use Of A Farm Animal” Award: Worms: Armageddon (Self explanatory)
The “Most new friends found” Award: Garry's Mod

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Offline Nieksas

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Re: The Steam Awards
« Reply #1 on: 23.11.2016 23:10:51 »
The “Test of Time” Award: Counter strike 1.6

fuck everything else  :D


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« Last Edit: 24.11.2016 01:20:34 by Noomie »
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Offline Naomie Smalls

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Re: The Steam Awards
« Reply #2 on: 24.11.2016 01:18:10 »
The “Test of Time” Award: The Sims™ 3
The “I'm Not Crying, There's Something In My Eye” Award: MIND: Path to Thalamus Enhanced Edition
The “Just 5 More Minutes” Award: Rocket League®
The “Whoooaaaaaaa, dude!” Award: Outlast
The “Villain Most In Need Of A Hug” Award: Undertale
The “Game Within A Game” Award: The Stanley Parable
The “I Thought This Game Was Cool Before It Won An Award” Award: Don't Starve
The “Best Use Of A Farm Animal” Award: Worms Armageddon
The “Best Indie(an) Games” Award: Oxenfree

Offline Bluestar

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Re: The Steam Awards
« Reply #3 on: 24.11.2016 05:08:28 »
The “Test of Time” Award: Counter-Strike
The “I'm Not Crying, There's Something In My Eye” Award: Metro: Last Light
The “Just 5 More Minutes” Award: Counter-Strike: Source
The “Whoooaaaaaaa, dude!” Award: Singularity™
The “Villain Most In Need Of A Hug” Award:Half-Life 2
The “Game Within A Game” Award: The Stanley Parable
The “I Thought This Game Was Cool Before It Won An Award” Award: Rocket League®
The “Best Use Of A Farm Animal” Award:Slime Rancher
The “Best Indie(an) Games” Award [Most new friends found]:Garry's Mod
« Last Edit: 27.11.2016 11:28:21 by Bluestar »

Offline Другарю Рийл_Дийл

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Re: The Steam Awards
« Reply #4 on: 25.11.2016 00:33:10 »
The “Test of Time” Award: Quake
The “I'm Not Crying, There's Something In My Eye” Award: Metro: Last Light
The “Just 5 More Minutes” Award: Civ 5
The “Whoooaaaaaaa, dude!” Award: Star Wars Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast
The “Villain Most In Need Of A Hug” Award: CS:GO
The “Game Within A Game” Award: Garry's Mod
The “I Thought This Game Was Cool Before It Won An Award” Award: Smite
The “Best Use Of A Farm Animal” Award: Dota 2
The "Do I Really Hate Myself?" Award: Dark Souls II

Offline Naomie Smalls

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Re: The Steam Awards
« Reply #5 on: 25.11.2016 10:17:30 »
The “Villain Most In Need Of A Hug” Award: CS:GO
The “Game Within A Game” Award: Garry's Mod

???

Offline Jack Smoses

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Re: The Steam Awards
« Reply #6 on: 25.11.2016 11:49:41 »
no cs go nominations from me >:(

Offline Bastard

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Re: The Steam Awards
« Reply #7 on: 25.11.2016 13:14:31 »
The “Villain Most In Need Of A Hug” Award: CS:GO
The “Game Within A Game” Award: Garry's Mod

???

he means the russians
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Offline NapoleonT

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Re: The Steam Awards
« Reply #8 on: 23.05.2017 09:26:02 »
he means the russians


Good to see that COD didn't win anything.
« Last Edit: 26.10.2021 18:04:19 by NapoleonT »

Offline Bang

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Re: The Steam Awards
« Reply #9 on: 31.05.2017 22:55:45 »

The “Test of Time” ARK: Survival Evolved
The “I'm Not Crying, There's Something In My Eye” Award: Never felt sad from a steam game, Bioshock Infinite?
The “Just 5 More Minutes” Award: Dungeon Defenders
The “Whoooaaaaaaa, dude!” Award: Portal
The “Villain Most In Need Of A Hug” Award: Borderlands 2 (Handsome Jack)
The “Game Within A Game” Award: GTA V
The “I Thought This Game Was Cool Before It Won An Award” Award: Terraria
The “Best Use Of A Farm Animal” Award: Fallout New Vegas
The “Best Indie(an) Games” Award: Rust
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Offline Bastard

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Re: The Steam Awards
« Reply #10 on: 03.06.2017 00:58:08 »
The “I'm Not Crying, There's Something In My Eye” Award: Never felt sad from a steam game, Bioshock Infinite?

Crying because the gameplay was so subpar? BioShock Infinity is one of the games that proves that today games are just wanting to be considered to be art but no ken fucking levine makes a random game witha random "artsy" story that makes no fucking sense and is not even constistent inside of itself and has a shitty gameplay on rails. the only thing itas got going for it is the first scene WAIT A MINTUE THAT CARD because it got some meme potential and the scene where you first see clolumbia because that was simply a very beaiutiful and memorable scene. everything else was honestly pretty damn fucking useless in that game. Fucking ENDING SPOILERS (except bural at the sea because what the fuck is that apart from SFM porn material) What? Timetravel makes no sense? If he drowns then no timeline will contain him anymore? Does that fucking mean the timelines hadnt even split at any point before his baptism? How does that make sense? Nobody made any decision in life before that moment? What's up with the dumbfcuking Troy Baker ending credits guitar sequence where they singa  FUCKING CHURCH SONG. So let me summarize: THIS game gets awards for being BEAUTIFUL and having a DEEP STORY and is a game for SMART people. What doesn't get awards? A good game. Fuck this, honestly. Zackary Comstock made no fucking sense. How was he old? WHy did he look like the brazilian guy from Civilization V? What about the Lutece Twins? Were they just the same person from different timelines? What about when you enter colombia and you flip a coin and it's ALWAYS head. Does that mean they went through that many time loops already? Variables and constants, right? XD That was a constant then! The coin flip! But you saving the world was totally a variable there. Mhm. Uhm, what? Why did the SongBird die so unclimactically? Why did they put in a fucking Skyrim reference with the Battle of the wounded knee thing? WHY THE FUCK DID TROY BAKER STOP DUBBING ANIME AND SOLD OUT AFTER HE BECAME A """"""PROFESSIONAL"""""" AS JOEL FROM THE LAST OF US!!!! THAT GAME SUCKED!!!!!! BOOKER; CATCH!!! XD     Elizabeth was a marry sue. Guess what, Bioshock Infintie TOTALLY solved escort missions, right?? Finally a game where escort missions are done well, right??? :)  : ) Elizabeth is totally basically the one who escorts you hahahahah!!! NO. THE ESCORT MISSION IS NOT DONE RIGHT BECAUSE ELIZABETH IS INVINCIBLE AND TELEPORTS AROUND. WHY ARE THEY PLAYING GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN IN THE BACKGROUND OF THE BEACH LEVEL. WHY ARE THEY SINGING BEACH BOYS SONGS. MAKE YOUR OWN FCKING MUSIC KEN LEVINE! Oh, but that all fits into the narrative, right? Elizabeth teleporting around and being a mary sue too,r ight? XD Uh, yeah, good excuse motherfuckers. None of the choices matter in the game because xDDD its the narratiiiive ooooh. "if you think it sucks that no choice matters then you didnt get the game xDD its a game for deep and smart people" . No. Its lazy. How the FUCK did Elizabeth learn to lockpick. She is just somehow able to do it with no explanation. Bcecause she is a STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN, right? THe only good thing about Bioshock infinite is the fact that elizabeth sounds orgasmic as fuck in the japanese dub and that booker dewitt is voiced by fucking keiji fukiwara, who must be the smoothest and coolest motherucker among all japanese voice actors, or seiyuus as they like to call themselves. The skyrails sucked and were disappointing. That black lady who tried to kill you was dumb (not because she was black that was irrelevant detail. she was named amy or somethiNg). Zachaky Comstokc was an awful villain who fucking got drowned by booker nedlessly. OH GENIUS PARELELL RIGHT? OOOOH. CUZ LATER....REMMEBER? You dumb fucking brainwashed cunts. Play a game with good gameplay and a good story. Or, like, aat least one of those things. FUcking tetris is a good game and has no story. fucking...i dunno, viirtues last reward or some visual novel shit has an amazing story but little to no gameplay. what does inifntiey have? None of the two. Neither, you might say. What it does have is advertising and autistic faggots to back it up. So yeah, I guess I can undrestand that you fucking cried at that steaming pile of dog pile. the story is so "deep" and "good" that it gets worse and worse the more you think about it. anyone who put any thought in anything knows that the ending makes no sense and contradicts everything. please explain the ending to me.who is the ending even made for? It's too hard to understand for pepople who play it for the first time. "Whoa what a twist! But wait.....what?" its literally too hard to understand for a normal person. Most people who play the game wouldn't even know that the baptism was a relevant point where the timeline split because they fucking mention that hiddenly subtly somewhere in the game and you most likely forgot by then. So for 90% of humans, the ending was like "oh, a twist i guess, but i dont get how". Then you put some thought into it or, what most people did, read up an ending explanation. then youre like OOOOOH wow how cool that would have been if I had gotten it!! XD (because jokes are also not somehow funny if you hear them, dont ge tthem, and then hear an explanation) And THEN people think about it for a MINUTE more and realize OH. THIS MAKES NO SENSE, ACTUALLY. WHAT THE FUCK. And NOBODY has a fucking ansswer except CONSTANTS AND VARIABLES which is the most cop outiest shit in the universe. (OR MULTIVERSE LOL????)    And it doens't even work as an explanation in this case. read a fucking book for once. seriously. The ending was only good for people who are in that stage between reading an explanation of the ending online and actually thinking about it for a second. it was probably ken levine himself who poisted the explanation on fucking reddit or something. lol   It misses so  many things and ignores plot holes but oh yeah totally i figured that out it makes so much sense what a good ending.
« Last Edit: 03.06.2017 15:49:25 by Noomie »
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Offline Poorly

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Re: The Steam Awards
« Reply #11 on: 03.06.2017 02:03:55 »
The “I'm Not Crying, There's Something In My Eye” Award: Never felt sad from a steam game, Bioshock Infinite?

Crying because the gameplay was so subpar? BioShock Infinity is one of the games that proves that today games are just wanting to be considered to be art but no ken fucking levine makes a random game witha random "artsy" story that makes no fucking sense and is not even constistent inside of itself and has a shitty gameplay on rails. the only thing itas got going for it is the first scene WAIT A MINTUE THAT CARD because it got some meme potential and the scene where you first see clolumbia because that was simply a very beaiutiful and memorable scene. everything else was honestly pretty damn fucking useless in that game. Fucking ENDING SPOILERS (except bural at the sea because what the fuck is that apart from SFM porn material) What? Timetravel makes no sense? If he drowns then no timeline will contain him anymore? Does that fucking mean the timelines hadnt even split at any point before his baptism? How does that make sense? Nobody made any decision in life before that moment? What's up with the dumbfcuking Troy Baker ending credits guitar sequence where they singa  FUCKING CHURCH SONG. So let me summarize: THIS game gets awards for being BEAUTIFUL and having a DEEP STORY and is a game for SMART people. What doesn't get awards? A good game. Fuck this, honestly. Zackary Comstock made no fucking sense. How was he old? WHy did he look like the brazilian guy from Civilization V? What about the Lutece Twins? Were they just the same person from different timelines? What about when you enter colombia and you flip a coin and it's ALWAYS head. Does that mean they went through that many time loops already? Variables and constants, right? XD That was a constant then! The coin flip! But you saving the world was totally a variable there. Mhm. Uhm, what? Why did the SongBird die so unclimactically? Why did they put in a fucking Skyrim reference with the Battle of the wounded knee thing? WHY THE FUCK DID TROY BAKER STOP DUBBING ANIME AND SOLD OUT AFTER HE BECAME A """"""PROFESSIONAL"""""" AS JOEL FROM THE LAST OF US!!!! THAT GAME SUCKED!!!!!! BOOKER; CATCH!!! XD     Elizabeth was a marry sue. Guess what, Bioshock Infintie TOTALLY solved escort missions, right?? Finally a game where escort missions are done well, right??? :)  : ) Elizabeth is totally basically the one who escorts you hahahahah!!! NO. THE ESCORT MISSION IS NOT DONE RIGHT BECAUSE ELIZABETH IS INVINCIBLE AND TELEPORTS AROUND. WHY ARE THEY PLAYING GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN IN THE BACKGROUND OF THE BEACH LEVEL. WHY ARE THEY SINGING BEACH BOYS SONGS. MAKE YOUR OWN FCKING MUSIC KEN LEVINE! Oh, but that all fits into the narrative, right? Elizabeth teleporting around and being a mary sue too,r ight? XD Uh, yeah, good excuse motherfuckers. None of the choices matter in the game because xDDD its the narratiiiive ooooh. "if you think it sucks that no choice matters then you didnt get the game xDD its a game for deep and smart people" . No. Its lazy. How the FUCK did Elizabeth learn to lockpick. She is just somehow able to do it with no explanation. Bcecause she is a STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN, right? THe only good thing about Bioshock infinite is the fact that elizabeth sounds orgasmic as fuck in the japanese dub and that booker dewitt is voiced by fucking keiji fukiwara, who must be the smoothest and coolest motherucker among all japanese voice actors, or seiyuus as they like to call themselves. The skyrails sucked and were disappointing. That black lady who tried to kill you was dumb (not because she was black that was irrelevant detail. she was named amy or somethiNg). Zachaky Comstokc was an awful villain who fucking got drowned by booker nedlessly. OH GENIUS PARELELL RIGHT? OOOOH. CUZ LATER....REMMEBER? You dumb fucking brainwashed cunts. Play a game with good gameplay and a good story. Or, like, aat least one of those things. FUcking tetris is a good game and has no story. fucking...i dunno, viirtues last reward or some visual novel shit has an amazing story but little to no gameplay. what does inifntiey have? None of the two. Neither, you might say. What it does have is advertising and autistic faggots to back it up. So yeah, I guess I can undrestand that you fucking cried at that steaming pile of dog pile. the story is so "deep" and "good" that it gets worse and worse the more you think about it. anyone who put any thought in anything knows that the ending makes no sense and contradicts everything. please explain the ending to me.who is the ending even made for? It's too hard to understand for pepople who play it for the first time. "Whoa what a twist! But wait.....what?" its literally too hard to understand for a normal person. Most people who play the game wouldn't even know that the baptism was a relevant point where the timeline split because they fucking mention that hiddenly subtly somewhere in the game and you most likely forgot by then. So for 90% of humans, the ending was like "oh, a twist i guess, but i dont get how". Then you put some thought into it or, what most people did, read up an ending explanation. then youre like OOOOOH wow how cool that would have been if I had gotten it!! XD (because jokes are also not somehow funny if you hear them, dont ge tthem, and then hear an explanation) And THEN people think about it for a MINUTE more and realize OH. THIS MAKES NO SENSE, ACTUALLY. WHAT THE FUCK. And NOBODY has a fucking ansswer except CONSTANTS AND VARIABLES which is the most cop outiest shit in the universe. (OR MULTIVERSE LOL????)    And it doens't even work as an explanation in this case. read a fucking book for once. seriously. The ending was only good for people who are in that stage between reading an explanation of the ending online and actually thinking about it for a second. it was probably ken levine himself who poisted the explanation on fucking reddit or something. lol   It misses so  many things and ignores plot holes but oh yeah totally i figured that out it makes so much sense what a good ending.
xd

Offline Bang

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Re: The Steam Awards
« Reply #12 on: 03.06.2017 11:00:08 »
The “I'm Not Crying, There's Something In My Eye” Award: Never felt sad from a steam game, Bioshock Infinite?

"Crying because the gameplay was so subpar?" "I guess I can undrestand that you fucking cried at that steaming pile of dog pile."

What part of not feeling sad did you miss?
READING IS FUN!
« Last Edit: 03.06.2017 11:03:45 by Bang »
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Offline Bastard

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Re: The Steam Awards
« Reply #13 on: 03.06.2017 15:06:23 »
The “I'm Not Crying, There's Something In My Eye” Award: Never felt sad from a steam game, Bioshock Infinite?

Are you going to IGNORE that you ANSWERED the QUESTION about what you CRIED TO with BIOSHOCK INFINITE?
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Offline Bang

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Re: The Steam Awards
« Reply #14 on: 03.06.2017 19:51:24 »
I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

Also did you know that in 2002 alone, more people in the U.S. were killed by dogs than in shark attacks in the past 100 years.
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