CaTGC

Quote from: Bang on 31.05.2017 22:55:45

The “I'm Not Crying, There's Something In My Eye” Award: Never felt sad from a steam game, Bioshock Infinite?

Crying because the gameplay was so subpar? BioShock Infinity is one of the games that proves that today games are just wanting to be considered to be art but no ken fucking levine makes a random game witha random "artsy" story that makes no fucking sense and is not even constistent inside of itself and has a shitty gameplay on rails. the only thing itas got going for it is the first scene WAIT A MINTUE THAT CARD because it got some meme potential and the scene where you first see clolumbia because that was simply a very beaiutiful and memorable scene. everything else was honestly pretty damn fucking useless in that game. Fucking ENDING SPOILERS (except bural at the sea because what the fuck is that apart from SFM porn material) What? Timetravel makes no sense? If he drowns then no timeline will contain him anymore? Does that fucking mean the timelines hadnt even split at any point before his baptism? How does that make sense? Nobody made any decision in life before that moment? What's up with the dumbfcuking Troy Baker ending credits guitar sequence where they singa  FUCKING CHURCH SONG. So let me summarize: THIS game gets awards for being BEAUTIFUL and having a DEEP STORY and is a game for SMART people. What doesn't get awards? A good game. Fuck this, honestly. Zackary Comstock made no fucking sense. How was he old? WHy did he look like the brazilian guy from Civilization V? What about the Lutece Twins? Were they just the same person from different timelines? What about when you enter colombia and you flip a coin and it's ALWAYS head. Does that mean they went through that many time loops already? Variables and constants, right? XD That was a constant then! The coin flip! But you saving the world was totally a variable there. Mhm. Uhm, what? Why did the SongBird die so unclimactically? Why did they put in a fucking Skyrim reference with the Battle of the wounded knee thing? WHY THE FUCK DID TROY BAKER STOP DUBBING ANIME AND SOLD OUT AFTER HE BECAME A """"""PROFESSIONAL"""""" AS JOEL FROM THE LAST OF US!!!! THAT GAME SUCKED!!!!!! BOOKER; CATCH!!! XD     Elizabeth was a marry sue. Guess what, Bioshock Infintie TOTALLY solved escort missions, right?? Finally a game where escort missions are done well, right???   : ) Elizabeth is totally basically the one who escorts you hahahahah!!! NO. THE ESCORT MISSION IS NOT DONE RIGHT BECAUSE ELIZABETH IS INVINCIBLE AND TELEPORTS AROUND. WHY ARE THEY PLAYING GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN IN THE BACKGROUND OF THE BEACH LEVEL. WHY ARE THEY SINGING BEACH BOYS SONGS. MAKE YOUR OWN FCKING MUSIC KEN LEVINE! Oh, but that all fits into the narrative, right? Elizabeth teleporting around and being a mary sue too,r ight? XD Uh, yeah, good excuse motherfuckers. None of the choices matter in the game because xDDD its the narratiiiive ooooh. "if you think it sucks that no choice matters then you didnt get the game xDD its a game for deep and smart people" . No. Its lazy. How the FUCK did Elizabeth learn to lockpick. She is just somehow able to do it with no explanation. Bcecause she is a STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN, right? THe only good thing about Bioshock infinite is the fact that elizabeth sounds orgasmic as fuck in the japanese dub and that booker dewitt is voiced by fucking keiji fukiwara, who must be the smoothest and coolest motherucker among all japanese voice actors, or seiyuus as they like to call themselves. The skyrails sucked and were disappointing. That black lady who tried to kill you was dumb (not because she was black that was irrelevant detail. she was named amy or somethiNg). Zachaky Comstokc was an awful villain who fucking got drowned by booker nedlessly. OH GENIUS PARELELL RIGHT? OOOOH. CUZ LATER....REMMEBER? You dumb fucking brainwashed cunts. Play a game with good gameplay and a good story. Or, like, aat least one of those things. FUcking tetris is a good game and has no story. fucking...i dunno, viirtues last reward or some visual novel shit has an amazing story but little to no gameplay. what does inifntiey have? None of the two. Neither, you might say. What it does have is advertising and autistic faggots to back it up. So yeah, I guess I can undrestand that you fucking cried at that steaming pile of dog pile. the story is so "deep" and "good" that it gets worse and worse the more you think about it. anyone who put any thought in anything knows that the ending makes no sense and contradicts everything. please explain the ending to me.who is the ending even made for? It's too hard to understand for pepople who play it for the first time. "Whoa what a twist! But wait.....what?" its literally too hard to understand for a normal person. Most people who play the game wouldn't even know that the baptism was a relevant point where the timeline split because they fucking mention that hiddenly subtly somewhere in the game and you most likely forgot by then. So for 90% of humans, the ending was like "oh, a twist i guess, but i dont get how". Then you put some thought into it or, what most people did, read up an ending explanation. then youre like OOOOOH wow how cool that would have been if I had gotten it!! XD (because jokes are also not somehow funny if you hear them, dont ge tthem, and then hear an explanation) And THEN people think about it for a MINUTE more and realize OH. THIS MAKES NO SENSE, ACTUALLY. WHAT THE FUCK. And NOBODY has a fucking ansswer except CONSTANTS AND VARIABLES which is the most cop outiest shit in the universe. (OR MULTIVERSE LOL?)    And it doens't even work as an explanation in this case. read a fucking book for once. seriously. The ending was only good for people who are in that stage between reading an explanation of the ending online and actually thinking about it for a second. it was probably ken levine himself who poisted the explanation on fucking reddit or something. lol   It misses so  many things and ignores plot holes but oh yeah totally i figured that out it makes so much sense what a good ending.

xd

• I'm not a furry
• I'm not a greasy fat jew
• I'm Poorly

you are an exellent person

BUSH FOR HIGHSTAFF 2K15

worst

+1
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