I am a fucking idiot.

[Bastard]

Let's just be serious here for a second. And...just do me a favor and read all of this. Think of it as doing me a final favor or something.

How long has it been? Like, 16 months or something since I joined the server for the first time? I became moderator pretty quickly, wrote a kick-ass admin application a month later, and finally became High Staff on the first of July, 2013. I still remember that well, because it was a pretty awesome time for me in general!

Now for everyone who's new to this community, I had the job of denying evaluating staff applications, back when this community was still called "Synchronized Gaming Community". That was months ago! Centuries if you count in internet years!

Now, evaluating Staff Applications was soooo not fun for me. I think I've never told this to anyone, but I didn't really like it and had problems with denying people. I don't remember the first person I denied, but I didn't want to accept that person because the application wasn't...very good...at all, and I didn't know them very well. I remember waiting for hours and delaying my response because I kind of...didn't want to hurt them by denying them...? I did deny them later, though. And I feel like it was correct to do so. But that's not important right now.

I quit High Staff in October and November because I had NOOO free time at all, seriously. I had to study  and work a lot. In December, I was back, with more free time, and happy. More staff applications were written, some accepted, most denied. There were...two or three people who kept writing applications after being denied, because they really wanted that Staff position. I, of course, got increasingly annoyed. The second, third and sometimes even fourth application wasn't a very big improvement over the first one I'd denied, so I saw no reason to accept them again, After all, if I accepted a person after three applications just because I was annoyed, other people would think, "Wow, so I just have to write more and more applications and I'll get accepted someday!". Yeah, no. Denied again.

Uhm, so here's the important part. It's about time I get to that, huh? As they, and by they I mean Leronez and That Guy on the Roof, wrote more applications, I got increasingly annoyed and also increasingly...unpleasant. I may have made a suicide joke and I may have made someone draw a picture of a dead baby just for my amusement. Apparently, I am not quite the white knight I think I am.

Flash forward: The community was split up, I was Head Staff for like two weeks, thought the server was boring because the regulars weren't really here anymore. I did play on both CaT and SyGC, though.
SyGC was then deleted in an...expected turn of events. Since the server "half" I was admin on got deleted, I was pretty much rankless. I did continue playing TTT every once in a while, because I thought it was fun, and thoroughly enjoyed meeting the regulars again on the CaT server. I took most regulars out of my friends list, though, and only kept like 4 of them in there. But don't feel insulted if you were deleted from my friends list, please. Don't take it personally, I was just cleaning up the friends list. It was way too long.

I then got back into TF2 and sort of stopped playing TTT. Whoops.

But I came back today for half an hour, yay! And this is the juicy part, the climax, the moment you've all been waiting for.

One of the admins did something I didn't entirely agreed with. They slayed someone, not me, but someone else, and I just didn't think it was justified. I went to Noomie, a Mod we all know and love, to...basically bitch about it. I told her that I can't believe how useless she can be sometimes. She didn't even call that admin out on that false slay! Come on, that was clearly abuse, right? That's what I thought, at least. After bitching about it, though, she just said "go cry about it", which I thought was uncalled for at first!

Basically...she told me that I had no right to complain about one slay, since I did way shittier things when I was an admin. At first, I thought she had gone crazy, since this had nothing to do with the subject, and I've never seen her so upset at me before. Huh. I basically "fought back" and tried to justify everything I've done up to this point. I failed miserably. The whole argument took about 45 minutes. She made me see what a fucking asshole I had been sometimes and I was not okay with that.

That's when it happened.

I fucking suplexed her out of pure anger. She lay on the ground motionless. I looked at my hands. What had I done?! I killed my only friend.

Suddenly, the previously motionless bag of Noom started shifting. She looked up at me with fury in her eyes and a smug grin.

"Yare, yare. So you've finally shown your true colors!"

Noomie launched herself at me and I barely managed to dodge her since her headbonk would have ruptured all of my internal organs. Noomie, still in the air, grabbed onto a nearby pole to change her trajectory back at me. Expecting this, I put my plan into motion.

She flew right at me, ready to deliver the final kick to my face. As soon as her shoe made contact with  my face, she went right through and the illusion faded away. I suddenly appeared behind her with an evil smile.

"Keikaku doori. It was just a hologram. Chekkumeito."

I stabbed Noomie through the heart with a Katana. Noomie coughed up blood as I lifted her soon to be lifeless body up into the air. When she went limp I dropped her on the ground with the Katana still inside her.

"Resuto in piisu desu", I said, still respecting my worthy opponent. As I walked out the door, I heard the sound of metal shattering behind me.

I couldn't believe it. Baffled and paralyed, I looked at what was happening behind me. As I saw glowing lights coming towards me, I immediately understood. Noomie had shattered the Katana with her bare hands and thrown the pieces at me.

One of the pieces hit me in my left hand, the other in my right. I was pinned to the wall and Noomie walked towards me.

I was sweating bullets, knowing that I could not escape this. Kusoooo! I should have made sure she was deddo.

"I agree, Daniel-san. You should have made sure."

My eyes widened.

"Masaka!! You can read my mind?"

"No, but your face tells me everything. I can read you like an open book."

I immediately knew a clever retort.

"Lol, I didn't know you could read at all!"

Noomie stepped back, shocked. She had just been hit by my sick burn. Screaming, she turned into a pile of ash and was never seen again.

[Stavik]

When saying "One of the admins" do you happen to be referring to me?

[Adolf Hipster]

Even though this wasnt directed to me ( at least I dont think it was )
Apology accepted.

[Zealous]

Well noomie was right, you cant bitch at her for a slay
maybe there was a reason for the slay that you just did now know about

[satanium]

I don't know who this guy is or what he's talking about but i like the way he types

[Dr. Deltality]

Don't worry, you're not the only one that has turned into a miserable fucking asshole lately (No offense). And I'm not talking about myself only. I don't know what happened, but back in SyGC I had a lot of fun playing TTT. Sometimes I think CaT is a god damn curse that turns people into complete fucknuts. I really miss the old days, when the server was full of familiar faces (well, usernames). Nowadays most of the known people are either scattered around all the servers or not playing any of Gmod gamemodes at all. Every time I join TTT I either find no people at all, or people I have no idea who is, and most of them are a bunch of trolls.
 
Somehow I managed to open my mind over a former staff manager that a lot of people hated, who suddenly decided to apologize here.

[Nightblade]

Don't worry, you're not the only one that has turned into a miserable fucking asshole lately (No offense). And I'm not talking about myself only. I don't know what happened, but back in SyGC I had a lot of fun playing TTT. Sometimes I think CaT is a god damn curse that turns people into complete fucknuts. I really miss the old days, when the server was full of familiar faces (well, usernames). Nowadays most of the known people are either scattered around all the servers or not playing any of Gmod gamemodes at all. Every time I join TTT I either find no people at all, or people I have no idea who is, and most of them are a bunch of trolls.
 
Somehow I managed to open my mind over a former staff manager that a lot of people hated, who suddenly decided to apologize here.

i had the same problem at the start when people couldn't even deal with one warn..

[Другарю Рийл_Дийл]

      Personally, from almost every staff here who hated Watsuda as High Staff, I think he was the right one to fit in the staff roster. Back in the time, you couldn't really do anything or say to Watsuda because he had always defended his arguement and had never let someone to tease him since he would always find a sollution how to deal with that. You may all not believe this but, if we compare Watsuda with the staffs here, including me, he was the most serious one. He could've been stricts in some ways but I didn't find that as a reason for breaking up and seperating the server.
    You all point every finger at him as the reason for that for promoting a staff just because he liked him, while the other guy you all blamed was Lincoln. They kept the server in order but right now what I see is staffs playing only in Deathrun not giving fuck about TTT. I can't even understand your new method of accepting staff applications by saying opinions to Mahrin how good or bad the person is. Let him see it by himself, goddammit. Why don't you do that, Mahrin?
    I think Watsuda thinks it would've been much better if the applications were more convincing and have more effort made in them like the ones he had accepted. Now you just need to write something about yourself, how you will deal with someone as a staff which is almost the same as everyone and just some + from the community and bam, you become a staff. Then, what? You get tired for 1-2 weeks and go to Deathrun and forget that you had even written one.  Now there are tiny groups in the staff roster who hates the other staffs and everyone talking behind the staffs' backs. The dream community, isn't it? I think it's already time everyone to discuss how to fix these things and be a good community again like before. You don't know how much I liked the Skype conversation almost 1 year ago with a lot of staffs and including regulars with our cameras on where we had so much fun. It even continued later but as time was passing staffs were retiring and the staffs barely have desire to talk with every staff.                                                                                                             
   The retirements repeat even now. Staffs leaving because of the community which had broken into pieces and never wants to put them together as there is always someone who keeps them seperated. I won't be surprised if the community dies soon. Then you'll know who to blame...not Watsuda and Lincoln who were the reason that the server had been keeping it alive for a long time, including members of the staff roster who kept the fun in it and the regular members.

[Naomie Smalls]

BUT!!!
I returned from the ashes as that was also just a hologram! Just a very realistic one and it cost a shitton of money (fuck you for destroying it you BAKA)

And then i was like

KONO DIO DA!!! hinjaku hinjakuuuu...!!! >___<

and then he was like 'iie, senpai! kowai desu! tasukete! Watashi wa anata no dorei desu! I will do anything you say!'

I hit him with 10 slaps per second a 100 times on each buttcheek and he started crying for help again. Little did he know, noone would ever come to save him.

And then i forgave him. But, under one condition.

and then he was like: Wtf under one condition. NOEMI@!#@!$ What, Is it choco again
and then i was like: Im buying a gift for my aunt
And then he was like: ... >:III
And then i was like: :3 what is the condition? we will see that next episode!
And then he was like: Fukkin die :-)

And then i teleported him into a magic arena full of cat moe girls and he looked at them and they attacked him and walked all over his face and then he was like MOEEEEE GIIRRRRLLUUUUU DESUUUU and then they were like NYAAAAAAAAA >_< and then he lost all his HP cuz he was sweating so hard because the moe girlu desu were making him insanely nervous and his heart was pumpin so heart that he couldnt take it anymore and after he fell ded on the ground the moe girlu desu screamed YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SENPAAAAAIIII DOSHITEEEE?? SENPAI WA SHINDA!!!! and they all jumped out of the arena weeping and deni slowly turned into pixels and the pixels flew up into the sky and into the universe and they all became stars and each star had denis butt on it (very big craters) and whenever now someone looks at a deni star in the sky with a telescope it starts yelling SCHEIBE SCHNITZEL HEIL HITLER!! which is extremely annoying and quite scary and the star then sucks you up into the butt crater and then you are forced to live a life in this shitty(haha) star forever so yeah this is a pretty bad ending for deni but noomie profited a lot from the one condition she had cuz deni actually followed the condition but he still died (haha idiot0 so yeah noomie now lives on her own island with infinite coconuts and advocados and chocolate and she became a chubby ball of happiness.

Fin.

[Lurifaks1]

I just wanna say that even though you might have been a bit of a dick and disagreements have been had, my opinion of you won't change. I've always respected you and been interested in you as a person, and truth be told, CaTGC wouldn't be the same without you. Looking forward to playing with you again.

[The Guy on The Roof]

Apology accepted

[Leronez]

I've always disliked you but I also respected you and I agree with what real deal said.

Apology accepted.

[Stavik]

Before I forget, back in the start when both me and you had just started playing you was the only one I was looking up to, I tried to follow in your steps, that's why when you became a moderator I decided i also wanted to become one, then when you became an admin I also started aiming for that rank.

[simasce]

      Personally, from almost every staff here who hated Watsuda as High Staff, I think he was the right one to fit in the staff roster. Back in the time, you couldn't really do anything or say to Watsuda because he had always defended his arguement and had never let someone to tease him since he would always find a sollution how to deal with that. You may all not believe this but, if we compare Watsuda with the staffs here, including me, he was the most serious one. He could've been stricts in some ways but I didn't find that as a reason for breaking up and seperating the server.
    You all point every finger at him as the reason for that for promoting a staff just because he liked him, while the other guy you all blamed was Lincoln. They kept the server in order but right now what I see is staffs playing only in Deathrun not giving fuck about TTT.
    I think Watsuda thinks it would've been much better if the applications were more convincing and have more effort made in them like the ones he had accepted. Now you just need to write something about yourself, how you will deal with someone as a staff which is almost the same as everyone and just some + from the community and bam, you become a staff. Then, what? You get tired for 1-2 weeks and go to Deathrun and forget that you had even written one.  Now there are tiny groups in the staff roster who hates the other staffs and everyone talking behind the staffs' backs. The dream community, isn't it? I think it's already time everyone to discuss how to fix these things and be a good community again like before. You don't know how much I liked the Skype conversation almost 1 year ago with a lot of staffs and including regulars with our cameras on where we had so much fun. It even continued later but as time was passing staffs were retiring and the staffs barely have desire to talk with every staff.                                                                                                             
   The retirements repeat even now. Staffs leaving because of the community which had broken into pieces and never wants to put them together as there is always someone who keeps them seperated. I won't be surprised if the community dies soon. Then you'll know who to blame...not Watsuda and Lincoln who were the reason that the server had been keeping it alive for a long time, including members of the staff roster who kept the fun in it and the regular members.

I agree with you bro.

[Bastard]

Thanks for every response! I see very polarizing opinions here. For some, I am literally Hitler. For others, I am kinda like Hitler, but in a very good way.

What surprised me is the fact that people actually quit because of me and Lincoln, which shouldn't really be a reason to quit at all. Just ignore us.

I didn't know that the server still had problems in the community, seemingly worse ones than before! I don't really know what is going on in this community right now (Mahrin lets people judge for him? What?) but it seems overly dramatic. Can't everyone just get along?